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My Life - How I think and how I live...

When we get older…Read this when I die!!

…we think about our mortality.

In high school we begin to see classmates lose grandparents. A few decades later we begin losing parents. We get older and begin losing friends.  We begin to seriously think about our own death. What if man invented heaven because death without afterlife was too scary?  What about purgatory and limbo; are those real places?  If I die too soon will my grandchildren remember me?  Should I write my obituary?  Should I destroy all my fat pictures before they are used on a memorial DVD?

This is how I’ve chosen to look at death. It is birth to new life; a life unknown. It compares to the infant leaving the comfort of mother’s womb to move through the dark birth canal to new life. Some are born easily. Others move into this life with much difficulty.

When I leave I want to move into my new life easily. I want to go straight to heaven and be embraced by Jesus or Mary or maybe St. Anthony. If they are busy, I want one of my friends, probably Richard, to sneak me in the back door.

My Life…

…. I was born in this country I love with parents who gave me a decent education and taught me the Catholic faith. I have two beautiful compassionate daughters who demonstrate their love over and over. Jill and Jan are different, yet they are very much alike. Jill can’t miss a shower. Jan works one in when she has time. Jan sees the world in color and flies by the seat of her pants. Jill sees black and white and flies when scheduled with a ticket. Here the differences end. Both adore their children. Both are responsible and provide a good home for their children. Both are funny. Both know what is moral and right. I hope that they remain each other’s greatest supporters and are forever best friends. They are the only two who know what it is like to have me as a mother…God bless ’em.

My grandchildren are perfect – Dee is kind and treats everyone with love regardless of what they can do for her; Henry always tries to be funny and make me laugh; and Ruth (one who finally looks like me) runs to me with open arms. They should have each other’s backs forever.

I love my sisters and brother. Our parents could not have given us a more perfect gift than the gift of each other. We have remarkable families…aunts, uncles, in-laws, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren all equally loved. I trust when Joe, Elaine, Diane or I die our children will be on solid ground with family support a phone call away.

Kathy, Alice, Toni P. and Toni S. and Judy have been with me through marriage, separation, marriage, and then faithfully with me until my divorce, which took forever!  Kathy sometimes called herself my partner offering to divorce Vince and marry me if I need health insurance. Now that’s a friend! My friends have been there when I’ve been at my lowest wondering how I was going to make through the next week. I cannot imagine what my life would have been like without them.

Once my marriage ended… I needed more friends. I needed friends who were not tied to wives or husbands. I needed people as miserable as me. They were easy to find.

Louis Lopez and Ann Finney were my first divorced friends. I had known Ann for years, but we weren’t friends. One afternoon when I was afraid and lonely, I called her. She was at my house within hours. I’ve loved her since then. Louis was the facilitator at my divorce support group. He was a man who had been hurt by divorce.  He helped me not lump all men into the “creep” category.

I was lucky to reconnect with high school friends. Many I did not know, but it didn’t matter. We know each other now. More proof God keeps us well stocked with what we need.

When my marriage ended I was devastated. The emotional toll was a lot to bear, but I knew I would rebound, God is good.  I joined a support group. I started teaching for Red Cross. I got involved in divorce ministry. The archdiocese hired me. I thank Marilyn for telling David to hire me and thank David for obeying Marilyn. I’m not sure either of them had a choice. God placed me right where I belonged.

I have no idea what the future holds, but I believe it is perfectly planned. God has my back.

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My Life - How I think and how I live...

Let’s Talk Politics –

I love to discuss politics.  I have no problem getting into a one-on-one discussion on health care, illegal immigrants, gun control, the death penalty, religious freedom, or even abortion.  Listening, debating, and then ending it.   Most all of us think we are “good” people wanting what’s best for the country.

The outrage following the Supreme Court’s ruling upholding the mandate for Affordable Health Care mirrors the Roe v. Wade outrage.  People are losing sleep, fighting, yelling, praying, celebrating, contributing to campaigns, and gearing up for November’s presidential election.  What many are not doing is research on the mandate.

I’d be a fool to say I know much about this new mandate.  My God, it’s over 2400 pages.

Who drafted it?  Were groups of committees assigned different aspects of the mandate, putting together pieces, and hoping all the pieces worked once finished?  Did it all begin with pieces of Mitt Romney’s healthcare plan for Massachusetts?

Maybe it went something like this… Let’s make everyone get insurance.  What about the ones who refuse?  We’ll impose a penalty.  How will we collect it?  We’ll hire a bunch of new IRS agents to enforce it. How?  What if those purposefully uninsured need hospital care?  We can’t let anyone die without trying to help them.  Maybe we’ll use the penalty money to pay for it, and use the compliant tax payers to fund the overage.  What about the illegal aliens?  Can they buy insurance?  No!!  Do we let them die on the street?  No, we’re a compassionate country.  Who will pay for their care?   What about Medicaid?  Darn, all of this is confusing!

We need to wake up!  Quit looking to Facebook or the media, or our neighbors to help us decide if we are for or against Obama Care.  Media is so bias it depends on which pundits we are listening to as to what “FACTS” we hear.  Even worse than media are the websites sprouting up, and people basing decisions solely based on party loyalty.

Instead of arguing and being dead-set one way or the other on this issue we might consider asking lots of questions and doing a little research, while keeping in mind that we are unlikely to change anyone’s vote.

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My Life - How I think and how I live... This Baby Boomers Real Life

TIME and To-Do Lists

Ever wonder where the time goes?  I’m not talking decades.  Hours turn into days, days into years, years into decades and suddenly I’m a young person in a granny body bouncing a baby on my knee wondering if I have enough decades left to see the baby grow up and have babies, or will I be lucky enough to remain independent, relativity pain free, and then die suddenly?   These are my inner thoughts as I travel down life’s hill.

But what about today?

Since I have the day off, I made a to-do list last night… – go to the grocery, pay bills, do laundry, exercise and visit with my sister on this hot summer day at her pool.

It’s 11:15 a.m. I cannot check one thing off my list. In four hours I’ve started one load of laundry and hauled my trash to the curb.  I’m going to need to postpone a few things.  I’ll pay bills past due dates, exercise tomorrow, and skip going to the grocery.  I still plan on going to the pool, but nothing’s written in stone.

These are the reasons a to-do list doesn’t work.

Before I get to the list I must…

  • Edit contacts in my cell phone – and add pictures so that when someone calls caller ID is their face.
  • Try on clothes to see if I need to exercise.
  • Get on Facebook and respond to everyone’s comments.
  • Post comments.
  • Read personal email and wonder why people send such pointless emails.
  • Read work email and respond as if I’m in the office.
  • Check work voicemail. Make notes to call the person back when I have time. Save the voicemails because I’ll lose the notes.
  • Debate on taking a shower and then put it off because I might exercise.
  • Answer the phone.
  • Shower and then meet a friend for lunch.
  • Check Facebook to see if I’m missing something.
  • Post comments on people’s post.
  • Look through the mail. Get on the internet to check out the store that sent me a catalog.
  • Check email.
  • Answer the phone.
  • Take my granddaughter to the drug store to get a poster board.
  • Take her to McDonalds.
  • Visit with the neighbors gathered across the street
  • Plan tomorrow’s to-do list

If I wasn’t so busy a to-do list might work.

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My Life - How I think and how I live... This Baby Boomers Real Life

Where Is It????

I always buy with my American Express card.  It’s easy and I get points that I’ve never used.

I swipe my credit card, put it away, and wait to sign for my purchase at JC Penny. Instead of wanting my signature, the little swipe machine wants me to show the sales associate my credit card. Darn.

“I’ve got it here somewhere.  Hold on.”

I start fumbling through the mess in my purse.

How can I have a mess?  I’ve got a case for lipsticks, nail files, dental floss, lotions, and antibacterial.  I’ve got another case for cough syrup, magnifying mirror, Q-tips, tape measure, roll-on deodorant, and a bottle of uncoated 21 mg. aspirin for heart attack symptoms.    What is all this extra junk in here…receipts, beef sticks, gum, a squirt gun, hairspray… where’s the credit card?

“I just swiped it.  Sorry.  It’s in here somewhere.”

I’m furiously digging through debris.

The sales associate breaks my concentration, “It’s alright.  I don’t need it.”

I thank her and mumble something about being sure it’s in my purse as I grab the sack.

“Are you leaving?” she asks.  “Don’t you want to find your credit card?”

“No.  If I stopped what I was doing every time I couldn’t find something, I’d spend half my day in lockdown. “

I listed my home with a realtor a while back and he wanted a house key.  I couldn’t find one.   I spent about six hours putting a new lock on the front door.   I gave the key to the relator, but forgot to make a duplicate key.  I try to have duplicates of things that if lost could cause tachycardia.  I have an extra set of car keys, an extra month of Rx drugs, lots of shoes, hair brushes, and reading glasses.

Almost everything I own has been lost at least once.  I’ve been looking for the car charger for my cell phone for a few weeks.  I didn’t loan it to anyone or take it out of the car, but it’s gone.  I lost my Dust Buster, a little hand-held vacuum, about a year ago.  I bought a new one last week.   I’m lucky that I don’t get too attached to my stuff.  All of it could be gone tomorrow.

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My Life - How I think and how I live... This Baby Boomers Real Life

My Best Friends Talk

Fear: A loss of control over what is pending causing a sense of doom, therefore halting further action.

It must be a common emotion, why else would we hear “frozen in fear”?  Once frozen, it can take seconds or years to thaw.  Sometimes it never happens.  It depends on the perceived consequence of a wrong choice.

Some people are frozen solid.  They exhaust me.  “Where do you want to go for dinner?  Do you want to see a movie?  Which one?  Want to go to Vegas?  Do you believe in euthanasia, like M&Ms, prefer dogs or cats?  Frozen people never have an opinion.  Pleasing everyone is more important than having an opinion.

My friends say what they feel.  They trust me to remain their friend even if they are tree-hugging Democrats who are more worried about the life-span of a gnat and global warming than sex-trafficking and genocide.   They accept people like me who vote Republican and believe we should teach people to fish hoping they buy a lake house so we have a place to share “deep thoughts”.   We love each other.  And, we argue long enough to see each others absurd reasoning.

Frozen people are sometimes a nuisance, but they can be included in groups, unlike the immoral, selfish, narcissistic, sociopaths, who try to pass themselves off as caring people, while inflicting physical or emotional abuse on anyone who will accept it.  They need their own planet.

But for all the good people…  Let’s not be frozen in fear.  Let’s have fun, say what we think, love our diversity, and accept that 89.5% of the time I’m right.

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My Life - How I think and how I live...

Old news…

12/21/2011 – By Me… the owner of this blog!! “Did you read her blog?” No, I’m too busy trying to blog my own life. I used to have a website and maybe that was sort of a professional blog about products and services. The only people reading it were customers or someone who wanted to know what the heck my daughter and I were doing and if we were smart enough to do it. So, this blog is for me. I doubt anyone will ever read it or know about it. Then again, sometimes I find myself entertaining so I might share with my daughters or friends. The good thing about this blog is the entire thing can be a “rough draft”. That makes life easier. I like to live in “rough draft”. I can clean it up if I need to clean it up.

12/22/2011  Today…  It’s good to plan my days, but only if I can change plans.  Today I’d like to do something with Dee, my granddaughter.  I don’t get much time with Dee. Mostly I see her when I’m being a taxi driver – a few minutes here and there. She has a busy life and when she’s not busy she’s doing chores or homework. When Dee was an infant through about age four, she lived with me and I cared for her every day while her mother was in school or at work. That stopped one day when they moved out. I still saw Dee a lot, but not always in the evenings. Then Jill got married and things changed even more… As the years go on I see less and less of Dee. I suppose it’s natural evolution, but not entirely. Well, today I’m hoping I see Dee, but if I can’t then there is always Plan B. Since I’m a rough draft sort of person, I’m not sure what Plan B is yet, but there is one. There’s always one.