Where Is It????

I always buy with my American Express card.  It’s easy and I get points that I’ve never used.

I swipe my credit card, put it away, and wait to sign for my purchase at JC Penny. Instead of wanting my signature, the little swipe machine wants me to show the sales associate my credit card. Darn.

“I’ve got it here somewhere.  Hold on.”

I start fumbling through the mess in my purse.

How can I have a mess?  I’ve got a case for lipsticks, nail files, dental floss, lotions, and antibacterial.  I’ve got another case for cough syrup, magnifying mirror, Q-tips, tape measure, roll-on deodorant, and a bottle of uncoated 21 mg. aspirin for heart attack symptoms.    What is all this extra junk in here…receipts, beef sticks, gum, a squirt gun, hairspray… where’s the credit card?

“I just swiped it.  Sorry.  It’s in here somewhere.”

I’m furiously digging through debris.

The sales associate breaks my concentration, “It’s alright.  I don’t need it.”

I thank her and mumble something about being sure it’s in my purse as I grab the sack.

“Are you leaving?” she asks.  “Don’t you want to find your credit card?”

“No.  If I stopped what I was doing every time I couldn’t find something, I’d spend half my day in lockdown. “

I listed my home with a realtor a while back and he wanted a house key.  I couldn’t find one.   I spent about six hours putting a new lock on the front door.   I gave the key to the relator, but forgot to make a duplicate key.  I try to have duplicates of things that if lost could cause tachycardia.  I have an extra set of car keys, an extra month of Rx drugs, lots of shoes, hair brushes, and reading glasses.

Almost everything I own has been lost at least once.  I’ve been looking for the car charger for my cell phone for a few weeks.  I didn’t loan it to anyone or take it out of the car, but it’s gone.  I lost my Dust Buster, a little hand-held vacuum, about a year ago.  I bought a new one last week.   I’m lucky that I don’t get too attached to my stuff.  All of it could be gone tomorrow.

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