My Thoughts for Jill Jan Dee Henry and Ruth

I write for my children and grandchildren because I hope I can cover enough that they will not need to guess my thoughts after I’m gone.  My grandmother and mother were gone before they were able to gather the wisdom that comes with old age.  I only have wisdom of nearly 60 years.  I cannot imagine how much more I would know if I made it to 90 years.  I’ll keep writing until I die, but as of now I have no idea when that will be, but it will be the perfect time in God’s will.

Worry…  My highest worry times were when I thought I could control things.  I figured if I worried enough the right answer would come and I could FIX someone or something.  Some things cannot be fixed and people cannot be controlled.  It is a waste of time to try to change someone.  Decide whether they have enough good qualities to keep the relationship.  If not, remove them from your days and mind.  Choose carefully what you worry about.  Worry is stressful and stress is unhealthy.

School…  Past the primary grades, school is a challenge for most all kids.  Parents play a major role in the success of their child’s academic and social life.  Good parents want their kids to take studies seriously, but don’t expect 100% effort at all times.  No one gives anything 100% 24/7 unless they are miserable or neurotic.  Bad parents are so wrapped up in their own dysfunction they forget to look at report cards or attendance.  Good parents stay out of their kid’s drama at school.  Bad parents are in the drama and battling with other parents or teachers frequently.  Good parents talk to their kids about how to handle difficulties.  Kids need good parents to be able to focus on getting along with peers.  Having a group of decent friends is most important.   Kids need to feel they fit in somewhere and that they are valued by peers.  This is most difficult because we all lack confidence when we are young.  Even the kids who appear to be most popular are insecure.  It’s a given when in school.  The best way to have friends is to smile a lot and be nice to everyone.   Never bully or pick on someone; if you do it will never be forgotten by the one you hurt. 

Remember what you worried about last year?  Did the worry change the outcome?  It seems that the things we worry about are not the things we ultimately experience.  While we are worrying about this… that happens.  Don’t worry.  Be happy.

  

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