For the past six months, I’ve been trying to get in shape and lose weight. My goal is to live longer, build stamina, and improve my cardiovascular health. I downloaded an app Couch 2 5 K. It’s a program designed to help you run a 5K. (I know I’ll not be able to run a 5K, but still this is good exercise.) I’ve been using the APP as I walk/run in the neighborhood.

I was at a neighborhood association dinner tonight. One of our “honest” residents, 86-year-old Lou, said she saw me jogging.

Debbie, I saw you out doing something. You might have been jogging, I’m not sure.

“Oh, yeah. I try to jog, but I can’t really do it.”

Well, I tooted my horn.  I was afraid if I honked it might kill you.

“Nah, I’ve been honked at before. I swerve all over the place. I’m usually delirious.”

I waved…but, you were panting and leaning forward. Looked kind of glassy eyed; I was afraid you might fall down. (She mimicked my jog – it was horrible.)

“Becky told me I look good when I jog.”

Becky lied. You look like a sick jogger that might pass out. You be careful, honey.

“Okay, don’t worry. I think I might look worse than I feel.”

Well don’t die out there, we’d miss you at Bunko.

“I’ll be at Bunko. But, thanks for setting me straight. Now I know it’s not in my imagination. I have a bad gait.”

As we stand in line at the buffet I explain to Lou,  “Well, I figure even if I’m slow and terrible and look like a sick turtle, I’m moving faster than the person sitting home on the couch.”

When I’m 87, I hope I can be as honest as Lou. And, Becky… I’ll never trust her again!

ASSOCIATION BUSINESS: The neighborhood may need speed bumps; yellow painted on the curbs to prevent parking that blocks driver views; neighborhood watch to prevent fishing in the ponds; and police presence at the unnecessary flashing stop signs. The president will look into issuing a warrant for the arrest of the kids who ride the golf cart through the neighborhood without helmets..

Thank goodness none of the Bunko Ladies voted for these restrictions. Lou says we live in a neighborhood full of idiots. They don’t know about our secret clubs.