The Bunko Neighborhood Committees

I had a man over tonight for about an hour.  He parked in my driveway, walked through my house to the back porch, and drank a cup of coffee.  That’s it.  We kept our voices down.  I walked him back through my house, and outside to his car.  We stood in the driveway talking, while three women, who appeared within minutes, stood two doors down chatting.

“I think those ladies are watching us,” says my friend.

“Really?”  I act surprised.  “I can’t tell who it is.”

The women do not move from their spot.  My friend leaves. I go inside and lock the door.

Before I get to the kitchen someone’s banging on the door.

“Did he forget something?”

I open the door to see MaryAnn and her dachshund, Lilly.

“Hi, Maryann.  What’s going on?”  I know full well what’s going on.

“I don’t want you to think I was spying,” she says as she works her way inside with Lilly and settles into a chair.

“Who was that man?” she asks.

“He’s a friend.  How did you see him?”

“You didn’t see me?  I came outside and accidently saw you with him.  So, I ran back inside to get Lilly so it wouldn’t look like I was spying.  I took Lilly for a walk and then two new neighbors came out to ask me about Peggy.”

“Who’s Peggy?”

“She’s another new one that moved in.  She’s already got herself a position on the board.  We’re getting lots of new neighbors.”

“How’d she get on the board?”

“I don’t’ know?  She’s on the board.  I met her at the gazebo lunch.  She’s real loud and friendly.”

I can tell there’s more to come.  Maryann leans forward and lowers her voice.

“One of the new ladies told me that Peggy dated her ex-husband.  They wanted to know if I thought Peggy was nice.  I didn’t’ want to say too much so I only told them Peggy put up a fence because she has friends over.  I didn’t tell them that Peggy parties and drinks.  I know about alcohol.  I’m not a prude.  But, I think Peggy is going to have loud parties and drink a lot.  We could tell by the way she talked at the gazebo.”

“Maryann, you know everything.”

“Debi, this stuff just falls in my lap.  I feel terrible.  I don’t like to talk about people.”

“Maryann, that’s all you do.  Without you I’d be so out of the loop.”

It’s true.  We both laugh and so does Lilly.

“Oh, Sharon is out of town, but her dog’s home.”

“Sharon, next door to you?  I don’t know Sharon that well.”

“Sharon is nice.  She brings me food, and she’s really made her back yard look beautiful.  She has lots of men help her.  There’s a man at her house right now and she’s not even home.  She’s in Louisville.  Sharon rotates men.  Different trucks, cars, men.  She better be careful or they might run into each other.”

“Well, tell her if she wants to rotate one over here, I can give him some tree work.”

“Oh, I don’t think you want one of Sharon’s men,” Maryann says as she and Lilly head toward the door, then stop.

“One more thing.” she adds.  “If I wanted to eves drop on you and that man, I could have.”

“No doubt,” I respond.

“I could hear you, but I couldn’t hear him.  He’s kind of a quiet man.”

“I’ll tell him to speak up if he ever comes back.  Oh, and if I ever get married, you’ll be my maid-of honor.”

“Married?”

I’ve lived in my Bunko neighborhood seven years.  There are lots of committees and clubs. The ladies are busy. I’m only involved in Bunko, but there is a Euchre club, a Bible Study Group, a Social Committee, a Check-for-Signs-of-Life Committee, a Compliance Committee, Crime Watch, and a Man-Watch Committee.  Maryann chairs Man-Watch.

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