My Granddogs…

I babysit my granddogs same as my grandchildren. This summer I’m on my fourth week dog sitting. I’d never admit to having a favorite grandchild, but I’ll name my favorite granddog. Competing are Fat Bulldog, One-Eyed Poodle, Fat Blonde Pug, and Skinny Graying Black Pug.

 
Fat Bulldog easily takes First Place on my likeability list. He is the easiest to dog sit. He never wakes me up, barely moves, eats in the morning, never begs for more, never barks and sleeps most of the day. He’s afraid of sacks, never explores and minds his own business. He follows me enough to let me know he loves me but leaves me alone. I never trip over him.

 
Fat blonde pug is #2 on the list. He could have tied for first place, but he has more energy than Bulldog. I love lazy immobile dogs. Fat Pug is sweet, never barks, and squishes into a cage with his nasty black pug sister at bedtime. He’s obedient and grateful for attention. He looks a little bit sad most of the time. He has an auto-immune disorder, which left him unable to walk for a few months. He’s his mother’s favorite for good reason. His competition is his sister, Black Pug.

 
Bulldog’s sister, One-Eyed Poodle comes in #3. She can escape through my backyard fence, so she only visits. Poodle is a confident four pounder that likes to dress up and get her hair dyed pink. She thinks she is a Bulldog Boss. It’s her fault she has one eye. Poor Fat Bulldog didn’t mean for his toenail to catch on her eye when he batted her away from his face. That little sassy is like a flea. We all swat fleas. Poodle was not traumatized with the loss of her eye, which happened at my granddaughter’s slumber party. She’s still beautiful and her brother is still ugly.

 
Hands down skinny graying Black Pug is the nastiest granddog. She takes 4th or last place. She stinks, growls, and dominates other dogs. She squeaky-barks at five-second intervals most of the day. If someone looks away, she snatches their food. I’ve seen her many times sitting in a chair at the dining room table waiting on dinner. She is hyper and scratches to go in and out about every 15-30 minutes. She jumps on furniture, beds, people, and other dogs. She’s trying to starve her brother, Fat Pug. She guards his bowl and growls if he tries to grab a bite. Fat Pug goes for days without food because he’s afraid of his ugly sister. Even if Black Pug is locked away, Fat Pug is still afraid to eat because she’ll get him later if she discovers his bowl is empty.

 
I’m keeping fat Bulldog while One-eyed poodle stays with her pug cousins for two weeks. It’s been reported that Black Pug does not let poodle cousin eat.  Fat Pug and Poodle were put in separate protective rooms with doors shut so they could eat. Black Pug circled outside the rooms like a shark. She is nowhere on my likeability list. Thank goodness she’s the oldest.

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