Monthly Archives: April 2013

This Baby Boomers Real Life

Neighborhood Bunko Club

I’m the young pup in this neighborhood.  I don’t play Bunko, but I’m going to tonight.  My best neighbor friend wants to join the monthly Bunko club, but she’s afraid.  I understand.  This place is full of gossip…so many secrets with spies on duty 24/7.  If I accidently leave my garage door up, I can be assured at least 2-3 neighbors will tour my house looking for my dead body, checking out closets, reading mail or whatever they do when they can run around unsupervised in my home.  Hot gossip issues include messed up families (what kind of a mother was she?), old man boyfriends (she might be a slut), and serious curb appeal competitions (I had that fountain first).

Bunko night I look outside at our designated time to walk to the host’s house.  In my driveway are seven women ranging in age 70 to 88.  I join them and they tell me we are waiting on the new neighbor who wants my job.  When she moved in she called to see if I could get her an application, asked me what I did, then told me she’d like my job.  Before hanging up she told me she’d been in my house, but bought her house because she liked it better.   She appears.  She’s my age.  She looks normal, but once she begins chatting it’s phone call deja vu.

We walk past about six homes and arrive.  Inside there are several 50-60 yr. olds.  Where do these women live?  I want to meet them, but immediately 85-yr-old Lou says, “Debi, get over here.  I want you to sit by me because you’re fun.”  Who argues with a loud senior?  I sit down.  There are about 15 women standing around.  There is a beautiful spread of food and drink; enough to serve fifty.  The host begins moving women to different tables.  Lou says to me, “Don’t move.”   Then she tells her other favorites to “sit down”.  I love a bossy old lady.

By 7:30 we are all settled and ready to begin Bonko.  Lou is keeping score, but she has it so screwed up… she says we’ll guess our scores.  Okay.  We finish our game.  Even guessing we all lose.  It’s 9 p.m. and everyone is tired.  They split up the goodies and head home.

I’m thinking – “I hope when I grow up, I’m just like Lou. Kind of bossy and a little crazy.”

Oh…the younger ladies live on the other side of the neighborhood.  They did not laugh nearly as much as me and the old ladies.  Hmmm…maybe I’m blooming where I’m planted.

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My Life - How I think and how I live...

ANGER…

Anger is typically not one of my outward emotions.. sometimes I don’t even recognize my anger.  I mostly avoid displaying anger.  That doesn’t make me any less angry than the one who rages, sabotages, or blames.  I have learned to look closely at myself.  If I increase food and decrease exercise;  chances are something has me upset.    Anger is stressful and dangerous if not identified and resolved.  Whether righteous or unfounded, anger causes stress.

The following wise words help me understand anger.

Aristotle (384-322 BC) – Greek Philosopher – Anyone can become angry.  That is easy.  But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way – that is not easy.

Leo Buscaglia –   Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain.  They steal your energy and keep you from love.

HW Longfellow – If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm any hostility.

Marcus Aurelius – How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.   Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.

Chinese Proverb – If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

We can handle anger biblically by communicating to solve the problem. There are four basic rules of communication shared in Ephesians 4:15, 25-32:

1) Be honest and speak (Ephesians 4:15, 25). People cannot read our minds. We must speak the truth in love.

2) Stay current (Ephesians 4:26-27). We must not allow what is bothering us to build up until we lose control. It is important to deal with what is bothering us before it reaches critical mass.

3) Attack the problem, not the person (Ephesians 4:29, 31). Along this line, we must remember the importance of keeping the volume of our voices low (Proverbs 15:1).

4) Act, don’t react (Ephesians 4:31-32). Because of our fallen nature, our first impulse is often a sinful one (v. 31). The time spent in “counting to ten” should be used to reflect upon the godly way to respond (v. 32) and to remind ourselves how the energy anger provides should be used to solve problems and not create bigger ones.

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